//queue "Kansas City" by the new basement tapes

One precursory caveat: this is going to be a long overdue and rambling post, but what else are blogs really for, anyway?

This summer, I was notably absent from my previous homes of Greenville, Texas, and College Station. After an exhausting second semester, I moved to Kansas City with no plan and zero obligations. Such spontaneity is so unlike who I used to be; however, since beginning college I have decided unplanned adventures are pretty much the best thing ever. This summer with my best friends Larissa and Mattie has been sans pareil.

The first thing one should know about Kansas City is that the coffee scene is unparalleled. Larissa, Mattie, and I spent too much money and not nearly enough time sipping lattes while enjoying the finer elements of life – Netflix, books, and incredible conversations – at a myriad of local coffee shops, which will merit its own post in the future.  

Summer is such a grand time for reading. One can comprehend a person rather deeply through the types of literature they digest. Insert my pending

“List of Books This Summer that Made Me Think About Life Differently (Therefore You Should Read Them and We Should Talk About Them Together)”:

• The Island of Dr. Moreau, H. G. Wells – Wells indubitably delivered again
• A Clockwork Orange, Anthony Burgess - I really enjoyed this book, including Burgess’s use of Nadsat
• The Unwind Series, Neal Shusterman – I don’t care who you are or what you believe about the issue of abortion, you HAVE to read this most-provoking series
• Looking for Alaska, John Green – obligatory John Green fix
• Space Trilogy, CS Lewis – the first two are incredible Biblical allegories set on Mars and Venus, so of course I loved them, but I had to force myself to finish the third one

Now, as to what initially drew me to Kansas City: several years ago, God changed my life at the 2011 Onething Conference. I was then introduced to the 24/7 prayer ministry through the International House of Prayer (IHOP) based in #KCMO. Amazingly, our apartment was across the street from the prayer room, so I had the tremendous privilege of spending hours there, crying out to my Savior for guidance, forgiveness, encouragement, joy, and on behalf of my incoming Impact freshman. The prayer room is absolutely incredible; God provided so much renewal and strength at this venue. This summer, he has shown me how deeply and intensely I need him, and His forgiveness has become even more real and precious. 

I spent some time in the book of Hosea, which is perhaps one of my favorite books in the Bible. It is such a vivid illustration of our sinfulness and God’s incredible love and redemption. Israel (and I) have prostituted (cheapened) ourselves to sin countless times, leaving ourselves dirty and without worth. We did not know that the Lord “gave us the grain, wine, and oil, lavished on us silver and gold, which we used for Baal.” He has lavished us with such great gifts, yet we turn to whoredom and sinfulness time and time again. Yet, he is waiting for us to return so we can resume our position as the bride – “My People”, he calls us. He will have mercy on us, who deserve none. The imagery of us as prostitutes, yet the Lord redeeming us again and again like Hosea did for Gomer, is so descriptive and humbling, and I cannot get over it. Just pause and consider the depth of what Hosea portrays.

I told you this post would be rather staccato, so as to continue in this style, some highlights:

May 31:: Day One of “What Happens in Apartment #2D Stays in Apartment #2D” (i.e. I moved in)

June 1:: Matty’s Adoption Day

Mattie, Larissa, and I adopted an amazing cat from the Kansas City Pet Project (10/10, get animals from there, it’s the best). When we got him, we had no idea how much we would grow to adore him and his unique personality. Now he’s pretty nifty to have around, and by that I mean he’s the best cat ever.

June 14:: My Second Tattoo

Insert additional controversial opinion: I really like and appreciate tattoos. They are the coolest form of indelible art; I just love them so much. So when I was approached with the idea of getting another tattoo with Mattie and Izza, of course I agreed. This is the final product:

We went to Freaks on Broadway (10/10 by the way) to get our glyph tattoos. This symbol means “explore”, and I chose this for a couple reasons. For me, tattoos are a means to never give up on something. As they are permanent, I do not want to look back on my tattoos in a couple decades and regret giving up on something every time I see that motivation permanently etched on my body. Therefore, I do not want to regret choosing the boring and knowns paths instead of seeking out the Great Perhaps. Additionally, one of my favorite ways to spend time with my friends is adventuring, which I did countless times this summer. Our marked feet led the way, and the memories we made were incredible. Finally, I want a life marked by exploring, wherever it is that God leads me. Hence the immortal reminder.

June 26:: Supreme Court Decides to Legalize Gay Marriage

One of the most pivotal and tumultuous days this summer, this day caused me to question my beliefs on homosexuality and my role as a Christian in response. I have to admit, I am still seeking the Lord’s conviction and direction as to what I myself personally believe regarding this issue, but notably, I realized IT IS COMPLETELY ALRIGHT, if not preferable, to sometimes hold the opinion of, “I don’t know. I don’t have a definite opinion.” I want to own my decisions, not have them forced upon me by one side or the other. Sometimes, open minds can reach people further than decisiveness. My sole opinion on this issue is that we as the church can have differing opinions, and that’s vital and healthy. But we absolutely cannot allow these differences in beliefs, convictions, doctrines, or political views become divisive. Differences need to be catalysts, not dividers.

We can be different, but we cannot afford to be divided.

July 14:: Entry-to-Major Decisions Released

July 24:: Fall Out Boy Concert

Another summer activity is the obligatory road trip. Mattie, Izza, and I made the voyage down to Houston with my thirteen-year-old sister Amber to meet some of my college friends for a Fall Out Boy concert. I firmly believe in allowing people to pursue things they love {music absolutely being one}, and there is just something about seeing your favorite band live in concert. Prelude to this trip, my sister and I did not exactly get along before I went to college. #understatementofthecentury However, being able to spend a weekend with her in a way that we never had the freedom to before, and giving her the ability to truly enjoy something she adores, was surprisingly amazing. I hoped to heal a little of the familial burns that have occurred at home by parents and myself alike. Why should someone prevent you from being passionate about something – even if it is a band? Looking back, I have realized such suppression can create a mentality that prevents someone from having any kind of passion for anything or anyone… Deep point of this blog, if you are not allowed to be yourself and get excited about small things, how can you be truly zealous of our amazing Savior and Father? If you are told that the things you love (miniscule or not) are unimportant, just phases, or dumb, those comments can build subconscious stoicism and inexpressiveness. Y’all, it is completely alright to be a raving fan of something… anything! Let people love things, and encourage their passions! Seriously, even little things can affect the way someone views God, and that specific relationship right there is so much more important than whether or not your teenage daughter likes a band that cusses a couple times. Yes, I did utilize heathen music to justify a point about God.   

However, the most incredible realization this summer was that it is ok to fall in love with people. People are innately intriguing; their stories, passions, talents, desires, idiosyncrasies, and dreams are so beautiful: that spark in their eyes when they talk about how God is authoring their lives, the too-short conversations about what’s beyond the universe, the pure encouragement and friendship they offer me, their admirable transparency and vulnerability, their drive to pursue incredible things, the decisions they make spontaneously... We are mind-blowing creations.

I love people, but I do not mean this romantically. Every place I go, every person I meet, I’ll fall a little in love with, and they will take a part of my heart. I only hope to return and reunite it again. Kansas City, thank you for the artisan caffeine supply, endless adventures, new revelations, great friends, and a fantastic summer. I am leaving with a full heart and shall return at the next opportunity.     

 “Would things be easier if there was a right way? Honey, there is no right way. And so I fall in love just a little, oh a little bit every day with someone new.” Hozier