//the meaning of ink

As a final hoorah to this summer, I made myself write another post about a random topic. A fun fact about me, Alicia Guthrie, is that I have two tattoos. One is on my left ribcage, and the other is on my left foot. Both concealable, both potent, my tattoos are significant works of art painted on my canvas.  

My first tattoo:: done at Taboo Tattoo in Dallas, Texas

 

My favorite band is the Killers. Everyone knows their classic hits, but they have a song “Be Still” on their 2012 Battle Born album that never seems to make the radio:

Be still

And go on to bed

Nobody knows what lies ahead

And life is short

To say the least

We're in the belly of the beast

Be still

Wild and young

Long may your innocence reign

Like shells on the shore

And may your limits be unknown

And may your efforts be your own

If you ever feel you can't take it anymore

Don't break character

You've got a lot of heart

Is this real or just a dream?

Rise up like the sun

Labor till the work is done

Getting these permanent words on my body is a reminder to never give up on Jesus, dreams, convictions, passions, and who I am. I refuse to break character and revert into someone I am not. If I were to throw any of those intrinsic things away, I would be reminded of failure and defeat every time I saw my tattoo. I would know I gave up on dreams I have had since I was young. But instead, I see my side and am reminded to persevere in the strength of the Lord, who always faithfully provides overflowing strength. The “so much heart” I have? Yeah, that’s directly from my Jesus. There have been countless times I felt I couldn’t take “blank” anymore, but it was in my weakest that the Lord was the most evident. I could never give up on what He has done for me. So I wake up every morning and labor until my work is done.

Then there’s the song’s title, “Be Still.” Psalm 46:10 has been a powerful reminder of my priorities. I get so wrapped up in the insanity and difficulties that is college at Texas A&M University. I become entirely useless because I am so anxious about everything. When I cannot sleep because I am overwhelmed, when I am beyond drained from running around constantly, when I am trying to tread water so rapidly merely to stay afloat… I need to be still, and know that He is God.

That’s it.

Nothing else is constant or can provide. He is God. That is all that matters. 

“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”

Psalm 46:10

 

So be still.

My second tattoo:: done at Freaks Tattoo on Broadway, KC

Summer 2015, I had one of the greatest adventures of my life when I lived in Kansas City, Missouri, for several months. Mid-June, Mattie and I decided to add to our repertoire, so we got the following tattoo on our feet:

 This minimalistic triangle is a typography glyph – basically an elemental symbol – that means “explore”. We chose this because we wanted to be reminded to never stop exploring. It is on my foot because my foot takes my body wherever I need to go. There is unimaginable adventure awaiting, but one misses it if she is afraid to explore, possibly get lost, or encounter the unknown. It is easy to take the comfortable path and go with what is known, but I want to explore further. Be scared. Be uncertain. But know God will take me places and teach me lessons that are only obtained way beyond what’s comfortable. Plus adventuring is so much fun.

             

But exploration does not stop on earth. I want to have a career promoting exploration beyond our earth. There is so much out there that God has created for us to see and worship Him for, and I want to be a part of that. Space exploration is my uninhibited passion, and now is the time to unite and support such global efforts. Sometimes I need the reminder on my foot that school is temporary, but the end results will be worth it.

Not only did God give us His truly awe-inspiring creation, but He also allows us to explore His character and personality and love. We can never comprehend Him fully, but we can always explore new facets of who He is and how He loves us. Indubitably, a relationship with Jesus is the best, never-ending adventure of an eternity.

The final layer of meaning behind my foot tattoo correlates to my passion for missions. Romans 10:13-15 beautifully says,

For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written,

“How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!”

 Not only do I want to explore God myself, but I want to explore this world WITH God as He directs my steps toward a life completely on mission. Whether that is in the workplace, a research lab, or a third world country, it does not matter. The crux is that a life with Jesus is the greatest adventure I can ever have, and my life boils down to this: explore the world, explore space, and explore God’s greatness.

Never stop exploring.  

//queue "Kansas City" by the new basement tapes

One precursory caveat: this is going to be a long overdue and rambling post, but what else are blogs really for, anyway?

This summer, I was notably absent from my previous homes of Greenville, Texas, and College Station. After an exhausting second semester, I moved to Kansas City with no plan and zero obligations. Such spontaneity is so unlike who I used to be; however, since beginning college I have decided unplanned adventures are pretty much the best thing ever. This summer with my best friends Larissa and Mattie has been sans pareil.

The first thing one should know about Kansas City is that the coffee scene is unparalleled. Larissa, Mattie, and I spent too much money and not nearly enough time sipping lattes while enjoying the finer elements of life – Netflix, books, and incredible conversations – at a myriad of local coffee shops, which will merit its own post in the future.  

Summer is such a grand time for reading. One can comprehend a person rather deeply through the types of literature they digest. Insert my pending

“List of Books This Summer that Made Me Think About Life Differently (Therefore You Should Read Them and We Should Talk About Them Together)”:

• The Island of Dr. Moreau, H. G. Wells – Wells indubitably delivered again
• A Clockwork Orange, Anthony Burgess - I really enjoyed this book, including Burgess’s use of Nadsat
• The Unwind Series, Neal Shusterman – I don’t care who you are or what you believe about the issue of abortion, you HAVE to read this most-provoking series
• Looking for Alaska, John Green – obligatory John Green fix
• Space Trilogy, CS Lewis – the first two are incredible Biblical allegories set on Mars and Venus, so of course I loved them, but I had to force myself to finish the third one

Now, as to what initially drew me to Kansas City: several years ago, God changed my life at the 2011 Onething Conference. I was then introduced to the 24/7 prayer ministry through the International House of Prayer (IHOP) based in #KCMO. Amazingly, our apartment was across the street from the prayer room, so I had the tremendous privilege of spending hours there, crying out to my Savior for guidance, forgiveness, encouragement, joy, and on behalf of my incoming Impact freshman. The prayer room is absolutely incredible; God provided so much renewal and strength at this venue. This summer, he has shown me how deeply and intensely I need him, and His forgiveness has become even more real and precious. 

I spent some time in the book of Hosea, which is perhaps one of my favorite books in the Bible. It is such a vivid illustration of our sinfulness and God’s incredible love and redemption. Israel (and I) have prostituted (cheapened) ourselves to sin countless times, leaving ourselves dirty and without worth. We did not know that the Lord “gave us the grain, wine, and oil, lavished on us silver and gold, which we used for Baal.” He has lavished us with such great gifts, yet we turn to whoredom and sinfulness time and time again. Yet, he is waiting for us to return so we can resume our position as the bride – “My People”, he calls us. He will have mercy on us, who deserve none. The imagery of us as prostitutes, yet the Lord redeeming us again and again like Hosea did for Gomer, is so descriptive and humbling, and I cannot get over it. Just pause and consider the depth of what Hosea portrays.

I told you this post would be rather staccato, so as to continue in this style, some highlights:

May 31:: Day One of “What Happens in Apartment #2D Stays in Apartment #2D” (i.e. I moved in)

June 1:: Matty’s Adoption Day

Mattie, Larissa, and I adopted an amazing cat from the Kansas City Pet Project (10/10, get animals from there, it’s the best). When we got him, we had no idea how much we would grow to adore him and his unique personality. Now he’s pretty nifty to have around, and by that I mean he’s the best cat ever.

June 14:: My Second Tattoo

Insert additional controversial opinion: I really like and appreciate tattoos. They are the coolest form of indelible art; I just love them so much. So when I was approached with the idea of getting another tattoo with Mattie and Izza, of course I agreed. This is the final product:

We went to Freaks on Broadway (10/10 by the way) to get our glyph tattoos. This symbol means “explore”, and I chose this for a couple reasons. For me, tattoos are a means to never give up on something. As they are permanent, I do not want to look back on my tattoos in a couple decades and regret giving up on something every time I see that motivation permanently etched on my body. Therefore, I do not want to regret choosing the boring and knowns paths instead of seeking out the Great Perhaps. Additionally, one of my favorite ways to spend time with my friends is adventuring, which I did countless times this summer. Our marked feet led the way, and the memories we made were incredible. Finally, I want a life marked by exploring, wherever it is that God leads me. Hence the immortal reminder.

June 26:: Supreme Court Decides to Legalize Gay Marriage

One of the most pivotal and tumultuous days this summer, this day caused me to question my beliefs on homosexuality and my role as a Christian in response. I have to admit, I am still seeking the Lord’s conviction and direction as to what I myself personally believe regarding this issue, but notably, I realized IT IS COMPLETELY ALRIGHT, if not preferable, to sometimes hold the opinion of, “I don’t know. I don’t have a definite opinion.” I want to own my decisions, not have them forced upon me by one side or the other. Sometimes, open minds can reach people further than decisiveness. My sole opinion on this issue is that we as the church can have differing opinions, and that’s vital and healthy. But we absolutely cannot allow these differences in beliefs, convictions, doctrines, or political views become divisive. Differences need to be catalysts, not dividers.

We can be different, but we cannot afford to be divided.

July 14:: Entry-to-Major Decisions Released

July 24:: Fall Out Boy Concert

Another summer activity is the obligatory road trip. Mattie, Izza, and I made the voyage down to Houston with my thirteen-year-old sister Amber to meet some of my college friends for a Fall Out Boy concert. I firmly believe in allowing people to pursue things they love {music absolutely being one}, and there is just something about seeing your favorite band live in concert. Prelude to this trip, my sister and I did not exactly get along before I went to college. #understatementofthecentury However, being able to spend a weekend with her in a way that we never had the freedom to before, and giving her the ability to truly enjoy something she adores, was surprisingly amazing. I hoped to heal a little of the familial burns that have occurred at home by parents and myself alike. Why should someone prevent you from being passionate about something – even if it is a band? Looking back, I have realized such suppression can create a mentality that prevents someone from having any kind of passion for anything or anyone… Deep point of this blog, if you are not allowed to be yourself and get excited about small things, how can you be truly zealous of our amazing Savior and Father? If you are told that the things you love (miniscule or not) are unimportant, just phases, or dumb, those comments can build subconscious stoicism and inexpressiveness. Y’all, it is completely alright to be a raving fan of something… anything! Let people love things, and encourage their passions! Seriously, even little things can affect the way someone views God, and that specific relationship right there is so much more important than whether or not your teenage daughter likes a band that cusses a couple times. Yes, I did utilize heathen music to justify a point about God.   

However, the most incredible realization this summer was that it is ok to fall in love with people. People are innately intriguing; their stories, passions, talents, desires, idiosyncrasies, and dreams are so beautiful: that spark in their eyes when they talk about how God is authoring their lives, the too-short conversations about what’s beyond the universe, the pure encouragement and friendship they offer me, their admirable transparency and vulnerability, their drive to pursue incredible things, the decisions they make spontaneously... We are mind-blowing creations.

I love people, but I do not mean this romantically. Every place I go, every person I meet, I’ll fall a little in love with, and they will take a part of my heart. I only hope to return and reunite it again. Kansas City, thank you for the artisan caffeine supply, endless adventures, new revelations, great friends, and a fantastic summer. I am leaving with a full heart and shall return at the next opportunity.     

 “Would things be easier if there was a right way? Honey, there is no right way. And so I fall in love just a little, oh a little bit every day with someone new.” Hozier